Question

近幾年，揚(yáng)州變化很大，成功創(chuàng)建了全國(guó)文明城市(National Civilized City)。假如你叫李磊，作為中學(xué)生的你一方面因?yàn)閾P(yáng)州可喜的變化感到自豪，另一方面也看到了作為一個(gè)全國(guó)文明城市還需要進(jìn)一步改進(jìn)的地方。在此，你向謝市長(zhǎng)寫一封信反映這些情況并提出你的一些建議。

變化	1. 人民生活很大改善； 2. 出行越來越方便； 3. ……
問題	1. 學(xué)校附近的道路擁擠 2.. 部分市民不排隊(duì)上車 3. ……
建議	…… （至少三點(diǎn)）

要   求：1）表達(dá)清楚，語法正確，上下文連貫；
2）必須包括表格中所有的相關(guān)信息，并適當(dāng)發(fā)揮；
3）詞數(shù)：100詞左右（征文的開頭已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)）；
4）不得使用真實(shí)姓名、校名和地名等。
Dear Mayor Xie,
I really hope that you can read my letter. Yangzhou has built herself into a national civilized city. As a citizen of Yangzhou, I feel proud of it. To make Yangzhou a better city, I want to do something for it.
I’m amazed that great changes have taken place in our city in the past few years._________
                                                                     
                                                                     
I hope my letter is of some help to improve Yangzhou and make it a better city in the future.
Yours sincerely,
Li Lei

Answer 1

Dear Mayor Xie,
I really hope that you can read my letter. Yangzhou has built herself into a national civilized city. As a citizen of Yangzhou, I feel proud of it. To make Yangzhou a better city, I want to do something for it.
I’m amazed that great changes have taken place in our city in the past few years. People’s lives have improved greatly. It is much easier to get into or out of the city because railway station, airport and BRT have been in use. What’s more , the city is becoming cleaner and tidier and looks very beautiful.
However, there are lots of things that we need to improve. The streets near schools are always crowded and some people don’t wait in line when they get on the bus. Besides, there will be more and more old people who need caring for.
I think we can try to do something to make them better. In my opinion, firstly, we should encourage students to ride to school instead of going to school by car. Secondly, people should be educated to be a good citizen and some volunteers are needed to keep order at the bus stop. Thirdly, more homes for the elderly need to be built in the next few years.
I hope my letter is of some help to improve Yangzhou and make it a better city in the future.

試題分析：這是一篇給材料作文，本文已經(jīng)給出了主要寫作要點(diǎn)，動(dòng)筆前要先認(rèn)真閱讀要點(diǎn)，然后圍繞要點(diǎn)適當(dāng)發(fā)揮。寫作中，應(yīng)注意描述的全面性，盡量將提示的內(nèi)容利用上；結(jié)合材料內(nèi)容，可知本文主要是第一人稱，一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)態(tài)進(jìn)行敘述。語言的表述應(yīng)該符合語法的結(jié)構(gòu)，造句應(yīng)該符合英語的表達(dá)習(xí)慣。適當(dāng)使用連詞，做到上下文聯(lián)系緊密，符合邏輯關(guān)系。
【亮點(diǎn)說明】這篇短文使用了大量的固定句式和短語，為文章增色不少。如:that引導(dǎo)的賓語從句I really hope that you can read my letter；I’m amazed that great changes；強(qiáng)調(diào)句式It is adj for sb to do sth，做某事對(duì)某人來說怎么樣等。連詞however及副詞firstly等的使用是本文看起來更加條理清楚，符合邏輯關(guān)系。學(xué)習(xí)中注意總結(jié),牢記一些固定句式及短語,寫作時(shí)就可以適當(dāng)引用, 讓文章更出彩。