Question

【題目】假如你是高中生李明，你發(fā)現(xiàn)你的同學在宿舍抽煙。你認為吸煙是不好的習慣，尤其是中學生。你寫信給校長，建議在全校開展戒煙活動，還給學生一個清新的校園。書信包括表中所列內(nèi)容。

詞數(shù)：100~120

吸煙的危害	戒煙的措施
1.污染空氣，危害健康	1.禁止在校園吸煙
2.招致厭煩，影響關系	2.老師也應戒煙，為學生樹立榜樣
3.費用過高，浪費金錢	3.嚴格要求
4.浪費時間，影響學習

Dear headmaster,

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Yours,

Li Ming

Answer 1

【答案】Dear headmaster,

Recently I’ve found that some of my roommates smoke in the dormitory. The air in the room is always made very dirty. I suggest that we should forbid smoking in our school, as smoking causes many problems. First, smoking pollutes our fresh air and even leads to serious diseases. Secondly, smoking can invite being bored, affecting friendship between classmates. Next, it’s a great waste of money buying cigarettes .Finally, it will take a lot of time to smoke, which, of course, affects our studies greatly.

I insist that our school take strict measures to forbid smoking in our school. Our teachers should give up smoking, too, setting a good example to us. No one should break the rule.

Yours,

Li Ming

【解析】試題分析：本文是一封寫給校長的信，建議在全校開展戒煙活動，還給學生一個清新的校園。本文是提綱式作文，書信內(nèi)容已經(jīng)給出。寫作時注意時態(tài)、語態(tài)的合理運用，主次分明，詳略得當，語言力求準確、簡潔。根據(jù)情景的發(fā)展，按順序安排好材料。同時應選用合適的連接詞或過渡詞，適當增加細節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

【亮點說明】

本文是一篇書信，格式正確，內(nèi)容符合要求，語句銜接緊密，文中使用高級句子。I’ve found that some of my roommates smoke in the dormitory.ｔｈａｔ引導賓語從句；I suggest that we should forbid smoking in our school, as smoking causes many problems. Suggest做“建議”講，后面的賓語從句用虛擬語氣，同時句中使用ａｓ引導的原因狀語從句；smoking can invite being bored, affecting friendship between classmates現(xiàn)在分詞做自然的結(jié)果狀語；it will take a lot of time to smoke, which, of course, affects our studies greatly.ｗｈｉｃｈ引導非限制性定語從句；I insist that our school take strict measures to forbid smoking in our school.ｉｎｓｉｓｔ后面賓語從句的虛擬用法；另外，Recently，F(xiàn)irst, Secondly, too, setting a good example to等的運用為文章增色添彩。