Question

假如你是李華,最近，你班同學(xué)就中學(xué)生是否可以帶手機(jī)上學(xué)進(jìn)行了討論。 請(qǐng)你根據(jù)下列信息，給校長(zhǎng)寫(xiě)一封信，客觀(guān)地介紹你班討論的情況。

70%的學(xué)生認(rèn)為	30%的學(xué)生認(rèn)為
1. 沒(méi)有必要帶手機(jī)。 2．帶手機(jī)會(huì)分散學(xué)習(xí)精力，上課開(kāi)機(jī)影響極壞。 3. 學(xué)生用手機(jī)會(huì)增加家長(zhǎng)經(jīng)濟(jì)負(fù)擔(dān)。	1．學(xué)生可以帶手機(jī)上學(xué)，但上課要關(guān)機(jī)。 2．學(xué)生帶手機(jī)可以方便聯(lián)系。 3．信息時(shí)代的交流工具，不應(yīng)禁止

1.詞數(shù):100字左右    2.經(jīng)濟(jì)負(fù)擔(dān)economic burdens.   3.信的開(kāi)頭已經(jīng)為你寫(xiě)好

Dear principle,

  I’m writing to tell you about the discussion we’ve had about whether a mobile phone should be brought to school. ——————————————————————————————

 

Answer 1

【答案】

 

One possible version：

Dear principle,

I am writing to tell you about the discussion we have about whether a mobile phone should be brought to school

 To tell you the truth , the students in our class have different opinions .About 70% of the students think that we shouldn’t bring mobile phones to school .Because with them we may not fix our attention to the lessons .If the phone is no t turned off by chance and the ringing will destroy the class. Furthermore  , using mobile phones will add to our parents’ economic burdens .However , about 30%of the students think we can bring phones to school on condition that we turned off them in class .With a mobile phone it is convenient for us to keep in touch with our parents and friends。Besides , the mobile phone is a tool of information times .It may not be right to ban students from carrying mobile phones.

Yours sincerely

LiHua

【解析】

試題分析：本篇書(shū)面表達(dá)要求給校長(zhǎng)寫(xiě)一封信匯報(bào)班級(jí)就“中學(xué)生是否可以帶手機(jī)”進(jìn)行的討論結(jié)果。所以文章在開(kāi)頭首先要講明寫(xiě)信的目的。其次，在介紹學(xué)生們的觀(guān)點(diǎn)看法時(shí)要用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)；文章要求客觀(guān)地介紹討論結(jié)果，所以文中要避免出現(xiàn)表達(dá)個(gè)人觀(guān)點(diǎn)態(tài)度的詞。此外，在陳述要點(diǎn)時(shí)要加入適當(dāng)?shù)倪B接詞以使語(yǔ)句通順，內(nèi)容連貫，結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。

【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】文章要點(diǎn)全面，結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，開(kāi)頭表明寫(xiě)信的目的，然后分別介紹了兩種不同的觀(guān)點(diǎn)。文中插入語(yǔ)To tell you the truth和Furthermore 、Besides、However等表示遞進(jìn)、轉(zhuǎn)折意義副詞的使用使文章上下文銜接自然，緊湊，而且文中原因狀語(yǔ)從句.Because with them we may not fix our attention to the lessons、條件狀語(yǔ)從句If the phone is no t turned off by chance; on condition that we turned off them in class、賓語(yǔ)從句that we shouldn’t bring mobile phones to school的使用也顯示了作者對(duì)語(yǔ)言的熟練運(yùn)用能力。此外With a mobile phone等短語(yǔ)也避免了句式的單一�？傊�，這是一篇優(yōu)秀的范文。

考點(diǎn)：考查提綱作文。