【題目】假設(shè)你是紅星中學(xué)高二學(xué)生李華。近期你們班組織了志愿者活動和春游。你在跟美國 朋友Jeff的郵件交流中，向他介紹你參加其中一項(xiàng)活動的情況，內(nèi)容包括：

1．活動的時間和地點(diǎn)；

2．活動的內(nèi)容；

3．你的感受。

注意：1．詞數(shù)不少于50;

2．開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)人總詞數(shù)。

提示詞：志愿者活動volunteer activity 春游spring outing

Dear Jeff,

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________

Sincerely,

Li Hua

【答案】Possible version 1

Dear Jeff,

How is everything going? I’m writing to tell you something about a meaningful volunteer activity that I participated in last week.

To make riding the subway in Beijing a pleasant and comfortable experience for passengers, the students of our class decided to do something to make a difference. Last Friday, we gathered at the station near our school in the afternoon and began doing different jobs. Some of us remained on the platform, calling on passengers to help keep the surroundings clean. Others, meanwhile, entered each car to pick up litter on the floor and seats. Tired as we were, everyone felt a sense of achievement upon seeing the tidy subway cars.

Through this activity, I have realized that with every individual doing their part, we will create a better world. Have you had a similar experience? Just let me know.

Sincerely,

Li Hua

Possible version 2

Dear Jeff,

How is everything going? I’m writing to tell you something about our pleasant spring outing last week.

To release ourselves from tense study, our class organized a trip to Fragrant Hill last Saturday. We gathered at the east gate at 8 in the morning, and then the fun began.

We started with an exciting climbing contest. The first ten students to reach the top would receive a “mystery prize”. Everyone was eager to participate in the contest. Believe it or not, I came in second place and received a set of Fragrant Hill postcards! On top of the hill, we also had a great time playing hide and seek, our favorite childhood game. With gentle breeze and warm sunshine embracing us, everyone was happy and relaxed.

Through this activity, not only did I enjoy the beauty of nature but I also realized the importance of taking the time to relax from busy study.

Sincerely,

Li Hua

【解析】本題是提綱類寫作，體裁是以寫信的方式報(bào)道有關(guān)活動，文體格式已經(jīng)給出，因此在審題環(huán)節(jié)主要從以下幾點(diǎn)著手：(1)主體時態(tài)：一般過去時；(2)主體人稱：第一人稱；(3)寫作要點(diǎn)：①近期，班級組織了一次志愿者活動和春游；②活動的時間和地點(diǎn)；③活動的形式和活動的內(nèi)容；④參加活動的感受。在保證內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)全部概括的基礎(chǔ)上可以充分發(fā)揮自己的想象，增添寫作的靈活性，同時能較好地考查考生的想象能力。在語言表達(dá)能上要注意準(zhǔn)確性，行文的邏輯性和句式、詞匯的多樣性，盡量使用多樣化的詞匯和句式，并注意寫作的段落層次，恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂眠B接詞和過渡性詞匯，以增強(qiáng)文章的可讀性。

【亮點(diǎn)說明】

范文1內(nèi)容完整，語言規(guī)范，語篇連貫，詞數(shù)適當(dāng)。作者在范文中使用了較多高級表達(dá)方式，如Tired as we were, everyone felt a sense of achievement upon seeing the tidy subway cars.；非謂語動詞運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)，如Some of us remained on the platform, calling on passengers to help keep the surroundings clean.。全文中沒有中國式英語的句式，顯示了很高的駕馭英語的能力。另外，文章思路清晰、層次分明，上下句轉(zhuǎn)換自然，為文章增色添彩。

范文2描寫詳略得當(dāng)，使用了高級詞匯和高級句子。如：On top of the hill, we also had a great time playing hide and seek, our favorite childhood game. ,該句中同位語的使用十分自然，又如…not only did I enjoy the beauty of nature but I also realized the importance of taking the time to relax from busy study. not only … but also… 連詞的使用和not only倒裝句的運(yùn)用令語言規(guī)范、連貫緊湊；Believe it or not的使用使句子過渡自然； With gentle breeze and warm sunshine embracing us...with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)等高級句式，顯示了句式的多樣性。

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