就“中國首次載入航天飛行圓滿成功”這一主題寫一篇小短文.
要求:1.行文流暢,敘述清楚,層次分明.
2.內(nèi)容豐富,材料真實,感情真摯;
3.詞數(shù)200個左右.
例文: The great dream has come true! The exciting and splendid moment has come!After a landmark 21-hour and 23-minute space flight that took him around the globe 14 times, China's first astronaut Yang Liwei returned to the earth safely.When I watched the exciting news on TV, my eyes was① filled with exciting tears.China has realized a many-centuries-old② dream cherished by all the Chinese. As the inventor of the ancient rocket, we fell behind in the space exploration in the modern history.More than forty years ago, USSR(Russia)succeed③ in sending up the first manned spaceship.In 1969, the American astronauts visited the moon. Not until 1970 did China send up the first satellite. Since the reform and opening-up in the 1980's, however, our country has made great achievements in science and technology. Within five years, we succeeded in sending up for unmanned spaceships, laying a solid foundation for the manned space flight.Now, the Shenzhou V.marks a great leap forward in China's space flight. I believe in the near future, China will have the permanent space station of its own like one④ of Russia and China's astronauts will walk in space and on the moon! China, we feel proud of you.China, I love you! 修改: 、賥as→were 、赾enturies→century復(fù)合形容詞中,名詞用單數(shù)形式. ③succeed→succeeded時態(tài)錯誤. 、躱ne→that這里是特指. 點評: 作者以真摯的感情,飽滿的熱情,講述了中國艱難的航天歷程,謳歌了中國在航天領(lǐng)域里所取得的巨大成就.文章敘述清楚,條理清晰,層次分明,過渡自然.值得一提的是,作者使用了一定數(shù)量的復(fù)雜句子結(jié)構(gòu),這一點非?扇。绻髡甙炎陨淼母惺芏嗾勔稽c,文章可能會更好. |
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