Question

【題目】假如你是紅星中學(xué)高二（1）班李華，下面四幅圖描述了近期你看到騎公共自行車“綠色出行”

的宣傳后所采取的行動(dòng)。請(qǐng)根據(jù)圖片的先后順序，為校刊“英語(yǔ)園地”寫一篇短文。

Answer 1

【答案】One possible version：

Being driven by my father to school one day, I suddenly noticed many public bicycles parked along the road in my neighborhood. Behind them on the wall was a sign reading “Green Travel”. Feeling it my duty to do something, I told my father that I would give up his car and rent a bike instead.

Back home that day, I searched the Internet for information about how and where to rent a bike. I found out that there was a rental service nearby, where I could apply for a rental card. The next day I headed toward it immediately after school. To be honest, I was a bit surprised to find quite a few people lining up there for the cards. I joined them and finally got one. The next day I first rode a bike to the subway station and then took the subway to school.

The bicycle seat is not as comfortable as a car seat, but I feel proud that I am doing something for the environment.

【解析】

本篇書面表達(dá)考察圖畫式寫作。

根據(jù)提示可知本文為圖畫式作文，命題者要求學(xué)生根據(jù)圖片內(nèi)容寫一篇短文。因?yàn)槌鲱}者沒有提出具體的寫作話題，所以需要學(xué)生自己觀察圖片提煉出主要話題進(jìn)行寫作。分析圖片可知它主要講為保護(hù)環(huán)境，一個(gè)青少年積極參與“綠色出行”活動(dòng)的故事。此類作文的結(jié)構(gòu)往往采用三段式，第一段簡(jiǎn)要講述故事發(fā)生的時(shí)間，地點(diǎn)及人物。第二段是故事的主要部分。第三段是故事的結(jié)尾部分，然后用一到兩句話說明自己的感受，結(jié)束全文，升華主題。在在行文構(gòu)思中，注意過渡詞和各種句型的搭配使用，確保文章層次清晰，結(jié)構(gòu)嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)。

【亮點(diǎn)說明】

本范文結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，最大的特色是靈活使用各種句型結(jié)構(gòu)。例如現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語(yǔ)Being driven by my father to school one day及Feeling it my duty to do something，過去分詞作后置定語(yǔ)many public bicycles parked along the road in my neighborhood，完全倒裝句Behind them on the wall was a sign reading “Green Travel”. Where引導(dǎo)的非限制性定語(yǔ)從句where I could apply for a rental card.等等。 其次是文章中使用Back home that day和The next day等短語(yǔ)表明故事按照時(shí)間順序發(fā)展，向閱卷老師展示了清晰的結(jié)構(gòu)。最后是文章中一些過渡短語(yǔ)和固定結(jié)構(gòu)選用的非常好，如give up his car，To be honest，as comfortable as a car seat和feel proud that等。第二段中的I was a bit surprised to find quite a few people lining up there for the cards中使用了“主語(yǔ)+be+adj.+to do sth.”的句型，并且包含了一個(gè)現(xiàn)在分詞做后置定語(yǔ)的成分，充分展現(xiàn)了作者深厚的作文功底，無可爭(zhēng)議地提高了文章的檔次。