【題目】書面表達(dá)

一家英語報(bào)社向中學(xué)生征文,主題是“十年后的我”。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下列要點(diǎn)和你的暢想完成短文。

1. 家庭; 2. 工作; 3.業(yè)余生活。

注意:1. 詞數(shù)100左右;2. 可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),以使行文連貫;3. 開頭語已為你寫好。

I often imagine what my life will be like in the future.

【答案】

I often imagine what my life will be like in the future. As is often the case, everyone’s life will be very different in ten years. I will be twenty-six years old by then. I may have my own family, probably with a lovely child. I hope I will work in a computer company as a program designer, which is my dream job. I will enjoy my work and get along well with my colleagues. I will make every effort in whatever I do. In my free time, I will continue to take regular exercise, such as swimming, running and various ball games with my friend. On my holidays, I will travel around the world with my family. Last but not least, my life will be much richer and more colorful if I stick to my dream and struggle for it now!

【解析】

試題分析:本文是一篇記敘文,主題是十年后的我。在寫作時(shí)要注意從家庭、工作和業(yè)余生活三方面要點(diǎn)著手,因?yàn)樘崾拘畔⑤^少,所以要充分發(fā)揮想象,增加適當(dāng)?shù)募?xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫,充實(shí)內(nèi)容。比如可以聯(lián)想到的內(nèi)容有健身,度假,聚會(huì)等等。在寫作時(shí)盡量使用恰當(dāng)?shù)倪B接詞,插入語以使文章層次分明,使用多種句式結(jié)構(gòu)和高級(jí)詞匯亮點(diǎn)來提高文章的檔次,如定語從句,賓語從句和狀語從句等。此外,因?yàn)槭菚诚胛磥,所以要用一般將來時(shí)

【亮點(diǎn)說明】本篇范文短小精悍,要點(diǎn)全面,語言簡(jiǎn)練,時(shí)態(tài)人稱準(zhǔn)確,很好的完成了寫作任務(wù)。在文章開頭作者緊扣題目,提出自己對(duì)未來的暢想,然后從生活,工作,家庭三個(gè)方面描述了自己十年后的生活。在文中作者用到了短語In my free time , In a word , such as等介詞短語,避免了文章句式的單一。此外,還用到了賓語從句in whatever I do、I will work in a computer company as a program designer等,這些都給樸素的語言帶來了亮點(diǎn)

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